Oh Lord
You know you’ve stumbled upon brilliance when a cuckoo clock has been incorporated into a melody that doesn’t want to make you blow your brains out. That’s the ingenuity of Marina and The Diamonds and her new single Mowgli’s Road. She definitely is the artist to keep your eye on. And despite the name, it’s a one person act. She has enjoyed a positive buzz on the internets for quite a while now, but I think the brilliant Mowgli’s Road is what is going to make people all around the globe take notice. And by all around the globe I mean everywhere in the world but the US. Americans are much too busy with Twilight and that new tween that I would much rather blow my brains out than listen too. Isn’t it nice how it all comes back to the beginning? Anyways, enjoy the quirky (paper limbs!!!) and positevly charming new video for Mowgli’s Road. Cuckoo! Cuckoo!
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The Un-desperate Housewife
Let me just say, I’ve always though that CBS was the channel for old people who watched CSI and Two And A Half Men (blech!). But then, I came across a little sow called The Good Wife. An eyeopening, smart and sophisticated show that finally gives us a peek at what the Hilary Clinton’s and Silda Spitzers of the world went through. The cheated wife here is Alicia Florrick played brilliantly by Julianna Margulies. I have never watched an episode of ER (her claim to fame) in my life so I have no predisposition to like her. However, she’s one those actresses which right off the bat you look at her and wanna be her. She never overplays the character of the cheated wife but you can totally see she’s just trying to keep it together and not murder her mother in law. Of course this a more dramatized, if you can believe it, version of the real events. Alicia just happens to be an ingenious defense attorney working at a powerful law firm in Chicago. Despite that formulaic TV drama plot, the show just falls effortlessly into place and still coming across as a credible depiction of what happens to those women in real life. It’s truly a believable depiction of the all now too common scandals of politicians banging some other chick other than wife. And for me, a MSNBC junkie, it’s like fucking heaven.
I’m not going to lie. The reason I tuned in the first place was Mr Big. I’m sorry, Chris Noth. He basically plays the same guy. The high powered men who despite screwing over their love interest, you’re still amazingly charmed by. But the reason I kept watching was Archie Panjabi, who plays the kick ass Kalinda. She’s the firm PI and I just love her. LIKE LOVE HER. In my mind, she’s what Veronica Mars would have been if we had flash forward like 10 years into the future. She’s feisty, witty, smart and just lovable, in a i’m gonna cut you if you cross me kind of way. LOVE HER.
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Tags: Archie Panjabi, Julianna Margulies, the good wife
Ooh La La Gaga!
I think you are going to have to skate over to work or school tomorrow because hell just froze over. I’m actually kind of lovin’ the Lady Gaga’s new single, Bad Romance. Make no mistake. I still think Poker Face is the biggest piece of shit to ever be unleashed on pop music fans in years. I still think she’s overexposed and to a certain extent, overrated. And I still think all her crazy-attention-seeking-outfits are a fucking stupid and unoriginal. With that said, Bad Romance is pop gold. The chorus is catchy, modern, and fun. Lyrically speaking it’s still pop so there’s nothing deep about it but at least there’s no talking about bluffing with one’s muffin. It’s also surprisingly refreshing, clever and dare I say, original, with it’s Monster Mash inspired sound. Yeah, I knew that I’d be eating my own words at some point during the course of this post. Damn you Gaga!
I have to remind myself of this sadomasochist relationship I have with Lady Gaga and how it started before I let myself go too deep into this rare praise of Lady Gaga. I actually liked Just Dance way before any of you bitches even knew who the fuck she was. It was after her subsequent explosion and release of shitty videos that I started to hate her. Maybe not hate but just an uncontrolled reflex of rolling my eyes whenever her name was mentioned. You be the judge. Have I been brainwashed like the masses or is Bad Romance really worth the praise? Listen below and tell me I’m not going insane.
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Tags: bad romance, lady gaga, the fame monster
Hey Annie!
Where have you been, Annie? I’ve missed you sorely. Oh you’re back? New album? Coming out in November, wow. The people at Island Records are a bunch of assholes? Oh, I agree. But you’re better for leaving them. They don’t know a good thing when they see it. You’re starting your own label? Well, all the luck with that. You’ll kick ass.
Oh yes, one of my favorite things is to have imaginary conversations with my favorite artists. Me and Kylie have had many a fun and naughty brunches. That girl looks like she’s all good but she’s such a little devil. Yeah, you might think I’m insane but you know what? Fuck you. No! Don’t go, I still have much more to tell you about Annie’s triumphant return with Don’t Stop. If my little faux conversation above didn’t make sense to you, here’s the scoop. Annie was panning a new album last year, and actually put out a single out and music video to promote it. Me and many others held our breath waiting for the album until our faces turned purple and fainted. So after I regained consciousness, I was made aware of the fact that Annie told her record company to go stick it where the sun don’t shine and left’em due to “creative differences”. Flash-forward a year later with not one, but two additional promo singles later and the album is finally ready to come out. Some new tracks have been swapped, a new snazzier cover and voila! Don’t Stop 2.0 is ready for action.
Still, the album isn’t due for a couple more days. I however, have an exclusive for you! Well, not exclusive but I bet most of you haven’t heard it yet. It’s one of the new tracks off album, and when I say new, I mean of the new batch of songs not found on the previous unreleased album. Will I get in trouble? Well that’s the beauty of having a blog with zero visits. But just to be safe, the track below is for sampling purposes only. I don’t mean any copyright infringement and just don’t fucking sue me. I don’t have a dime to my name. Enjoy!
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Tags: annie, don't stop, i don't like your band
The Sky Is Falling
Earthquake is one of Little Boots songs that has been around for ages. And by ages I mean roughly a year and a half. However, it still has the soothing hook that made Little Boots the artist to watch out for last year. With that said, Little Boots has churned out some of the most disappointing videos in the last couple of months. She looked totally bored and out of place in New In Town. I understand that was the motif, but it just didn’t work. Look at me, using words like motif. Anyways; then she proceeded to make a very generic and typical dance-pop video with Remedy, “Look at me! I’m spinning around in a kaleidoscope thing like it’s 1985!” With Earthquake, she has finally made an appealing, visually stunning, and suiting music video. Yeah, it makes no sense, at least to me (is the sky exploding, while it rains up?). Or maybe I’m just missing the bigger picture. Despite all of that, I still like it. Call me superficial, but this video just seems to fall into place effortlessly. Way to go Little Boots. Oh and by the way, I’m still waiting for Meddle to be released as a single. So get to it, Little Boots.
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Tags: earthquake, little boots, music video
Colonics For Everyone!
Oh Tyra, how are you gonna top this one. If you haven’t heard, miss Tyra Banks is gonna host the first ever televised colonics on her show tomorrow. Can you believe it? Yes America, you get to watch someone, as Tyra says it, have the poo sucked out of them through a tub plugged into their booty. Tyra, you just won an emmy, are you hurting that much for ratings? Seriously? It’s not even sweeps. Maybe I’m just being cynical and Tyra does want to bring public consciousness to the ever imporant issue of having “opposite of diarrhea” to the masses. Again, her words, not mine. Have you been taking vocab lessons from Carrie Prejean, Tyra? Anyways, below is a little preview video. My favorite part is when Tyra announces to her audience that they’re about to witness a live colonics and they start cheering wildly. I was waiting for her to shout “YOU GET A COLONIC! AND YOU GET A COLONIC! EVERYONE IN THE AUDIENCE IS GETTING A COLONIC!!!”. But it never happened. That’s why you’ll never be Oprah, Tyra.
Filed under: TV | 1 Comment
Tags: colonic, tyra banks, tyra show
I’m On A Boat Motherfucker!
Poor Calvin. After a night of partying and boozing with some hot chicks (one even sporting a bitching indian headdress), come sunrise, he’s left all alone on a yacht with nothing but some polaroids. This is one of those music videos with a message about how hard it is being a pop star. The prodigal Calvin is trying to tell you, that life has to have more meaning than just having a good time. It’s either that or a reminder for all you Lindsey Lohans of the world to always bring a polaroid with you when you go out partying, so that the morning after you get shit-faced you can recall what the hell you did the night before. Might come in handy after the police start questioning you about how you stole Donald’s Trump boat and then proceeded to trash it. “But officer, there was a chick that resembled Squanto taking pictures and feeding me champagne!”
All in all, the song is quite good. I mean, you can’t go wrong with electric afro-beats. While I mocked the video in the paragraph above, it’s also quite good, if not interesting at least. So you should watch it and try to see which of my two theoretical messages is the one that you relate from the video. Who knew electropop was so thought provoking?
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Tags: calvin harris, flashback, music video
What was Betty doing in her underwear running around in the middle of the night?! Oh I get it. It’s just a photo shoot. It’s art. Actually, I love the new photos of January Jones for GQ magazine; the publication of choice of metrosexuals. Then again, I’m a sucker for all this stylized random situations magazines do. It also doesn’t hurt that that I love January Jones. She could be wearing an empty sac of rice from Costco and make it glamorous. And I’m glad she’s getting some recognition alone. With Mad Men it’s always about just the show itself or Jon Hamm. January is a terrific actress with an edge. Despite playing a stay at home 60’s housewife, she gives it a depth that makes her character stand out. And in the interview with GQ she tells Ashton Kutcher, her former boyfriend, to go fuck himself. Yeah, I think I’m in love.
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Tags: January Jones, Mad Men
The World Begins With Me
Yeah, the title is very self-righteous of me but with all the self-depricating I’ve done and will continue to do I think I can get away with it. After all, this is the first post and what right now seems like nothing, I’m sure this will be marked as a monumental moment of my life. Just wait and see.
But enough rambling about me and my life changing events. This blog will be about me shit-talking about everything and everyone. And when I say everything, I mean it. From Obama to Britney Spears. And Unholy combination if you ask me. Will I pull it off? I hope so. Am I the first one to try? Probably not. But I don’t really give a fuck because if I did I wouldn’t be starting this blog in the first place.
So here’s to you! The zero number of people reading this right now, because with a little hard work and luck, and might I even dare say the guy upstairs, to turn that zero into a million! We’ll see.
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